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The Hidden Cost of Always Saying Yes!

A tired woman sitting at a desk, looking at a computer screen with her head resting on her hand, suggesting workplace stress, exhaustion and burnout.

Have you ever said yes when everything inside you was telling you to say no?


Maybe it's another meeting, another parent conversation or another member of staff who needs your support. You say yes because you care, because you want to help and because you've started to believe that being a good leader means always being there for everyone.


I know because I lived it. I spent over 30 years in education as a teacher, SENCO, specialist and deputy headteacher. I said yes to every extra meeting, every parent and every staff member who needed me. I told myself that was simply what good leaders did.


Over time, my sense of self-worth became tied to how useful I was to everyone else. I'd stopped asking myself what I needed.


I think many school and nursery leaders will recognise this. We can become so focused on everyone else's needs that our own end up at the bottom of the pile. Even saying no can bring guilt, despite the relief that comes with knowing you've set a boundary.


Asking for help can feel difficult too. But admitting you're struggling doesn't mean people will lose respect for you. Sometimes, it gives others permission to stop pretending they're coping too.


Before you say yes to the next request, pause and ask yourself:

  • What do I need right now?

  • What is one need you've been putting at the bottom of the pile?



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