What If Leadership Started With Being Honest With Yourself?

For many years, I believed leadership meant keeping going, holding it together and quietly carrying the weight. 

Doing what needed to be done.

Supporting everyone else.

Rarely stopping long enough to ask how I was really doing, or what impact I was having.

Like many leaders, I was far more comfortable noticing what still needed fixing than pausing to recognise what was already working.

Then I was encouraged, through research and reflection, to keep a leadership journal.

Nothing fancy.

Just an honest place to note what I was looking forward to, what I was dreading, the paperwork and the ideas that kept circling in my mind.

Each week, I looked back. 

What surprised me was this: the things I had been dreading almost always worked out fine.

But the ideas? They were always there. Consistent. Persistent. Alive.

I spoke recently to Dame Alison Peacock on my podcast who told me “And yet, for years, I had told myself I wasn’t creative. In my family, creativity had a certain look. My sister was artistic, expressive, clearly creative. I was the sensible one. The practical one. The reliable one. I assumed creativity wasn’t mine to claim.”

Her journal gently challenged that belief.

She described how she began to see that creativity in leadership isn’t about art or flair.

It’s about how we approach challenges.

How we reframe problems.

How we find ways forward when the answer isn’t obvious.

That realisation mattered. Because the way we see ourselves as leaders shapes the culture around us.

If we constantly feel we’re not good enough, that sense quietly spreads.

If we only name what’s missing, others begin to feel lacking too.

But when we take time to notice our impact, to celebrate what is working, to acknowledge the lives we are changing, something shifts.

Even small shifts matter.

Five intentional minutes at the start of a staff meeting.

A moment of encouragement.

A pause to recognise progress instead of only pressure.

My work now is rooted in this belief: leadership doesn’t start with doing more. It starts with seeing differently. With honesty. With reflection. With recognising the strengths and creativity already present.

Not because leadership is easy, but because leaders are human.

My journey, like many others, has included self-doubt, missteps and hard lessons. But it has also been shaped by incredible colleagues, leaders, staff and communities who have shown me that leadership is not about perfection, but presence.

This is why I write and speak openly about these experiences.

Not because I have all the answers.

But because I know how powerful it can be when a leader finally gives themselves permission to say:

“I am making a difference.”

“I am allowed to notice that.”

“I don’t have to feel not enough to be effective.”

If this resonates with you, especially if you’re someone who carries responsibility quietly while doubting yourself internally, you’re not alone.

I work with educators and leaders through coaching, courses and reflective spaces that focus on wellbeing, leadership culture and recognising the strengths you already carry.

You can find out more about that work here: https://www.rowenahicks.com/