When Did You Last Notice Your Own Strength?

This week, someone said to me, “I don’t know if I’m making a difference anymore.”

A quiet sentence.

A tired voice.

But one I’ve heard before from teachers, leaders, support staff, families, people who give so much of themselves every day, yet still feel like they are somehow not enough.

It made me stop, once again and ask a bigger question:

How did we get here?

How did we reach a point where compassionate, committed people constantly question their worth?

In education especially, but truly across society, we have created a culture where value is measured by output, busyness, speed, and sacrifice. We applaud the person who stays late, answers emails at midnight, runs on empty, and never complains. And slowly, almost silently, we have absorbed the belief that our value sits outside of us that we must earn it, prove it, or push ourselves to the edge to keep it.

No wonder burnout is everywhere.

No wonder so many wonderful people feel invisible or replaceable.

No wonder those who give the most often feel the least.

This belief isn’t just unhealthy; it’s dangerous. And I know, because I lived it.

My Wake-Up Call

A few years ago, an Executive Headteacher I deeply respected asked me why I hadn’t applied for a promotion. I laughed, genuinely surprised that she would even consider me for it. But she looked at me with absolute certainty and said:

“Why not, Ro? You are good. You know you’re good.”

Except I didn’t know.

No one had ever told me that before. Not in a way I could hear it any way!

And I had never stopped long enough to consider it.

That moment stayed with me and rang in my ears for years. It was the first time I realised how many talented, dedicated people walk through their entire careers without hearing the simplest affirmation:

“You are good. You matter. You bring something unique.”

And even more painfully: how often we fail to say it to ourselves.

Discovering My Own Value

I have spent years working in inclusion, teaching and tutoring SENCOs, supporting staff, championing children, walking alongside families to find the best outcomes for them. I love helping others see their impact, recognise their strengths and see the value they already carry. But I didn’t always believe the same about myself.

I pushed harder.

I worked longer.

I tried to earn my worth through action: being seen, being helpful, being available, maybe trying to be everything to everyone.

It took some bumps, some honest reflection, and a few difficult seasons to understand a truth that should be obvious but rarely is:

Our value is not something we earn. It’s something we carry from the moment we exist.

Once I began to understand this, everything shifted.

What Changed for Me

Recognising my own value didn’t make life perfect, but it did make me stronger, steadier, and kinder to myself. It meant:

• I could stand taller, not because I was flawless, but because I had purpose.

• Unkind or unfair words no longer defined me; they simply passed through.

• I made decisions based on my values, not everyone else’s expectations.

• I forgave myself for mistakes and learned to move forward rather than replaying them endlessly.

• I stopped seeking permission to rest, to grow, to change direction.

I am still a work in progress.

I still stumble.

But I rise differently now with greater clarity instead of fear, with intention instead of guilt.

What About You?

Have you forgotten your own value and strength lately?Have you become so focused on doing that you’ve forgotten the value of simply being?

Perhaps today is the moment to pause and ask:

• What truly matters to me?

• Where do I shine?

• What do I bring that no one else does?

• What do I want my life and my work to feel like? To look like?

  
  

You are not valuable because of your productivity, your job title or your endless to-do list. 

You are valuable because you are uniquely, beautifully, wonderfully you.

And you deserve to believe that.

Always.